We’re all on journeys of becoming. come walk with me a while and I’ll share with you the paths that always lead me back home!
You know it’s time. The life you’re meant to co-create is beckoning you. The whispers of your soul are growing stronger. But fears – all sort of fears – have kept you staring out over the edge, unable to take the next step.
Let me share with you a little slice of my journey. Maybe you’ll find yourself here in these words.
When I was 18, I felt deeply betrayed. So, I wrote a letter to God – yep, I wrote a letter – sitting on the floor in my bedroom, and asked for help. That was the beginning of my mystical journey with the Divine. There was no doctrinal statement, no confessing of sins or following steps to say a prayer of salvation – simply my heart poured out on paper with the hope that there really was someone who loved me enough to help me change my life. My tender request was answered.
I began attending a Christian church where I found a sense of family: I was wanted, accepted and valued. I had gifts to offer that gave me a feeling of identity and worth.
My desire to belong led to my first spiritual awakening.
For well over a decade, the church became my spiritual home.
I became a leader in the Christian communities I belonged to. I led music, Bible studies, prayer groups, went on mission trips all around the world…I was a really good Christian.
Yet all the while, I struggled with the messages I was being taught about God, humanity and the earth.
After many years being a leader in the church, a mysterious current beckoned me onward and led me away from the institution of the church and the particular confines of the Christian faith, and into the spiritual wilds where I found goodness, love, compassion, joy, and belonging (or they found me!).
The mystical encounters I’ve had over the last two decades have opened up space inside me to sit with my questions and have no answers, and ultimately to follow the path that was leading me to Life, regardless of religion.
The spiritual life, the Divine, God, the Great Spirit, whatever words you choose and spiritual practice you hold are welcome here. My own spiritual journey has taken many twists and turns, as all real journeys do. There have been deaths and rebirths. Grasping and letting go. Holding on and feeling held.
Transformation. Again and again.
The wonder of this is that fear is no longer my foundation.
Fear is no longer my foundation. I have experienced in the cells of my body the wonderful, deep, expansive ocean of love that exists for us all.
Coming home to myself & the Divine within
After having two precious children, living through PTSD, chronic mysterious illnesses, and dealing with painful generational patterns, the whole paradigm of someone outside of me being the one with the answers – whether that was a doctor, a therapist, a pastor, a guru, a healer – no longer worked for me. The basis of most models of therapy – and organized religions – are the same as what my life’s pattern had been: someone else has the power and what I seek is outside of me. I knew there had to be a way to actually heal the suffering that had been passed down from the generations before me and to stop the cycles from continuing. A part of me had believed this would come from an “expert” for a very long time; but when I became aware of this deeply held belief, another layer of personal and spiritual awakening occurred.
As the Goodness of the cosmos would have it, I found a guide who taught me a path to compassionately move through the labyrinth of my own soul and to inhabit my body and befriend aspects of my being I had long left for lost. She was there to empower me to become who I was put on this earth to be! The time I spent with her changed the course of my life.
Over the last decade, I have walked into my own darkness that I once feared would swallow me whole if I actually acknowledged it.
I’ve learned to befriend my shadow self and love even the “negative” parts that make me who I am. There are such amazing treasures to be discovered in what appears to be our darkness.
Deep desire has been my guide and continues to be my teacher. I would’ve never imagined that so much pain and heartache could be transformed into so much goodness, self-compassion and peace!
And everyday I’m coming home more and more to my Self – my essence, my truest nature.
In order to come home to ourselves, we must step off the edges in our lives and into the great unknown. This isn’t a one time event – it will happen again and again. This is the life of faith.
It has been on the journey of coming home to myself that the desires to write, paint, sing and create beauty in all sorts of ways have unfolded.
Growing up and becoming who we really are is perhaps the hardest work we will ever do in this life. Yet with my whole heart I believe that each person can change the world by becoming the person we’re each born to be.
I’m truly honored that you stopped by here,
“The way that a pilgrim travels is to set off for parts unknown. If history’s kind, we’re the ones who may find the way we all come home.” David Wilcox